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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
  The B. Coming
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Yo, Beans is my n*gg* but peep this review of his new album, The B. Coming, from Byron Crawford.com. It's funny as sh*t. Word.

Beanie Sigel, The B.Coming (Dame Dash The Rapist Group, 2005)
One of Jay-Z's weed carriers from the Hard Knock Life era, Beanie Sigel put out two albums, one in 1999 and one in 2001, neither of which produced any hits. Since then, he's acted in two ridonkulous State Property movies, one of which seems to always be on Skinemax (like always), and rapped on their corresponding soundtracks along with his Dame Dash-assembled State Property crew. Apparently, somewhere along the line, dude pulled a 2Pac and convinced himself that those dumbass movies were his real life, as he's now doing hard time in the clink for a variety of offenses.


I'm usually not into this slow, "Night Shift-era" Commodores rap, but in this case I guess it does kinda fit the whole mood of the song. Beans obviously wrote this one knowing good and well he was on his way to Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison. No homo. I can see what everybody else likes about this.


Life as a weed carrier must be rougher than I once thought. According to this song, he couldn't even afford to go to a dentist and have his cavities filled. If he worked part time at a Big Gay Mart like I do, he could pay about $7 a week and buy into the company's "Starbridge" dental plan. Freeway, who guests on this, really shouldn't be rapping.


3 tracks in and we're more or less back to the same ol' Beanie Sigel from back in the day. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out, just based on the production, that this track has been laying around since the Dynasty era. Still, I guess it's cool enough for what it is. I mean, Redman's on it.


Similarly, I'm assuming this was recorded during the sessions for one of those State Property albums. I actually like this one a lot, even though Peedi Crakk kinda owns this track the same way Fiddy owns the best tracks on that Game album. Twista pops up at the end and does that whole "Ooh, look how fast I can rap!" thing that's never really as amusing as I'm sure he thinks it is.


I wonder how much The Neptunes charge for shit that was left over from the R&G: Rhythm & Gangsta sessions. This isn't bad for what it is (although it's certainly no "Drop It Like It's Hot"), but I don't know how well it fits in with the rest of these tracks. Snoop actually does the chorus and adlibs.


I see a lot of other, inferior bloggers are really feeling this, but I wonder if they're aware of Ghostface's superiors (yes, even to this) version of more or less the same motherfucking idea from like 5 years ago. Ripping off Ghostface's old ideas is the kind of weak shit I would expect from the likes of 50 Cent and MIA. Beanie should've sampled the real "Purple Rain" instead.


Speaking of sampling classic (like really classic) pop shit, I see some fellow (he calls himself "Boola") got the idea to sample a track from motherfucking Rumours (seriously). Not that he did an especially good job of flipping it, but I can at least appreciate the effort. Now all we gotta do is convince Just Blaze to flip motherfucking "You Can Go Your Own Way."


LOL at Rell being on this. Who the fuck is Rell anyway and why does he still have a career in the music industry? Actually, he might not. This sounds like another one of these tracks that have been sitting around for a while.


Best. Song. Of. The. Motherfucking. Year. The rhymes, about the kind of woman who's not worth a shit, are motherfucking vicious. The production, by the aforementioned Just Blaze, is what CL Smooth would call "impeccable." Speaking of old school rappers, Sadat X and Grand Puba from Brand Nubian, which Fly has never heard of, handle the chorus and adlibs.


LOL at Beanie Sigel name-checking "Stairway" by Led Zeppelin. That really is one of the best songs ever. This song, on the other hand, isn't. That dumbass "pressure busts pipes" metaphor needed to be retired about 5 years ago. This chorus, by some unnamed R&B chick, is also rather painful.


Is Peedi Crakk signed to the Dame Dash The Rapist Group? Because he more or less owns yet another song on this bad boy, even if he isn't saying much. His style and technique make everything that Beans says seem so obvious. His voice even kinda reminds me of Ghostface.


I'm not familiar with the original "Tales," but I could do without pretty much every aspect of this sequel, from the beat (The year 2001 called...) to Beans' dumbass "anguished" flow, to the 8th generation weed carrier's weed carriers guest vocals.


This, on the other hand, is better if still not spectacular. It's in the same vein as the first couple of tracks on here (which were really good), but this one's just not as compelling musically or lyrically.


LOL again at motherfucking D.Dot producing this one. I wasn't aware that he had done anything at all since the Life After Death era other than making a few random appearances on Making the Band 3. This beat kinda reminds me of that song Eminem produced on The Blueprint back before everybody realized how motherfucking miserable of a producer he is. Jay guests on this but doesn't say anything especially interesting.


I can't even handle Bon Jovi's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" when it's sampled in a rap song. This was unnecessary.

COMMENTS: So yeah, I can see what everybody likes about this album, but I'm still not drinking the Kool-Aid. The strong points are rill fucking strong, but there's only like 3 or 4 of them and the rest of this shit is really not that great.

BEST TRACKS: "Feel It in the Air" "Gotta Have It" "Bread & Butter"

Posted by Bol at 02:10 PM
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